As quoted in every movie I had ever watched. I thought it was bullshit. I now have realized that it is true that you don’t know the real worth of people until you lose them. Well, I lost somebody this year. We have planned on starting 2023 as the most romantic year of our relationship. We were just getting started when I sank the ship. Yes, reader, you might have guessed it by the title, I rained over her in my anger. Let me start by telling you how I came into this situation in the first place. The story will be brief because we both agreed to keep it secret. So, I cannot open up all the way. One day she just came out of nowhere in my life. My life where I was pretty sure that all I wanted was to stay single forever because I was done loving someone. Then she lands in front of me, and my heart beats so loud every time I see her. I get confused and have difficulty finding a word even to greet her. Well, I will admit I look weak by the word, but no mistake it was beautiful and worth being one. Soon I realized that I should confront her, and I did after a day or two. One day, I expressed it to her, and guess what? she gave me a chance. We had beautiful 2 months of togetherness that I can never forget. We used to catch up in our free time and spend quality time together. She used to tell me everything, and I listened to her. I found it amazing that after almost years past, I felt so loved. I was really looking forward to this relationship. I was in love, and it was beautiful. However, it was a secret, so I could not tell about this to my friends. I would be so proud to tell everyone that I love her cause she was so perfect. Well, now maybe you are curious about who she is? Let me give you a short description of her. She had the most beautiful eye I have ever seen when I see those eyes, my mouth gets dry, and I struggle to find any word to confront her about how I feel seeing her in front of me. Her innocence of always being good to everyone was the same as mine. I have never cared who the person is. If he/she asked for help, I was willing to provide, and so was she. The biggest I have appreciated and respected in her is her ambition to become someone on her own I know it seems a lot like a made-up thing, but it is not. I have something of my own count it as my goal in my life. She had one, and she shared it with me. I was amazed to see how determined she was toward her goal. I was looking at my perfect, beautiful, and mature girlfriend, who also happened to have childish behavior again, which I found really cute. Now that you have a picture of her in your mind, let us move forward. We used to have a fun meeting every once in a while and cared about each other more than anything else. We were mad at each other, starting from being jealous of each other to ruling above others just for the sake of other person's good and well-being. I was so lucky the whole time because I was her first guy. Maybe I should have considered this when I lashed at her for the first time. Now even thinking of it, I feel guilty. Back to the story, we had our first kiss, and she was so excited and nervous. I felt her trust in me in that kiss. I am really missing her while writing this. Okay, we kept meeting and had chit chat hiding from everyone we knew. We used to chat, laugh and take good care of each other. Now that day comes when I have to go far away from her for a while and let me tell you something I have always feared long distances because it never works for me. But I have now realized that I have never given my 100 % to it to work in the first place. I am not the guy who had 10s and 20s girlfriends before I realized that long distance does not work for me. It was just one time, and I got hold of it. Let me come to the bad side of the story now. It was nighttime, and we were chatting when I said, I do not like a girl who lies to me. Maybe, I did not mean it that time, but anybody would be pissed when someone tells them like that. She had all right to be angry with me, but then I was angry too, and guess what? fire plus fire does not go away by itself, and it grew bigger. The next thing I realized, she would not talk to me anymore. We started having a catfight now and then again and again, and then she stopped. I was heartbroken and felt really bad for myself and her. I was the only man she shared everything with, maybe even more than she told her family. And I messed it up for her, maybe she hated me. We did not talk much after that. One day out of nowhere, she called and wanted to meet. My heartbeat went through the sky when I saw her name on my phone. I messed up again. But I got her the next day, and we met and had an amazing time. I was so excited to get her back but totally forgot that she would not be there forever, and that got me in the right place and that hurt. Days went I was getting angry with her in small things cause I had this in my mind that she was not going to be mine at the end of the day. One morning she woke up and asked me a favor to delete our photos. Maybe, she did not feel safe having them with me, but I expected her to trust me. Because maybe I am the most sensual and angry person you will ever see, but I am loyal. I respect other person life, decision, and loyalty. After reading this, you might see my mistake of being rude to her. I was as well in our last fight, and I will tell you I have said bad to her but believe me when I say you. I love this girl like nothing else, and when I say I mean it. I respect her, and I feel bad asking for a chance again and again. But I have learned that a little more patience in a relationship would be worth a lot more than me knowing everything she does. A little trust in her decision would give her more faith in me than questioning why she went with that option in the first place. A little less anger would get our relationship longer than I ever imagined. As true as the quote I started with is, this is too. I love her, and if I get a second chance to be with her, I will not miss it for the world.
