As quoted in every movie I had
ever watched. I thought it was bullshit. I now have realized that it is true
that you don’t know the real worth of people until you lose them. Well, I lost
somebody this year. We have planned on starting 2023 as the most romantic
year of our relationship. We were just getting started when I sank the ship.
Yes, reader, you might have guessed it by the title, I rained over her in my
anger. Let me start by telling you how I came into this
situation in the first place. The story will be brief because we both agreed to
keep it secret. So, I cannot open up all the way. One day she just came out of
nowhere in my life. My life where I was pretty sure that all I wanted was to
stay single forever because I was done loving someone. Then she lands in front of me, and my heart beats so loud every
time I see her. I get confused and have difficulty finding a word even to
greet her. Well, I will admit I look weak by the word, but no mistake it was
beautiful and worth being one. Soon I realized that I should confront her, and I did after a day or two. One day, I expressed it to her, and
guess what? she gave me a chance. We had beautiful 2 months of togetherness that I can
never forget. We used to catch up in our free time and spend quality time
together. She used to tell me everything, and I listened to her. I found it
amazing that after almost years past, I felt so loved. I was
really looking forward to this relationship. I was in love, and it was
beautiful. However, it was a secret, so I could not tell about this to my friends. I would be so proud to tell everyone that I love her
cause she was so perfect. Well, now maybe you are curious about who she is? Let
me give you a short description of her. She had the most beautiful eye I have
ever seen when I see those eyes, my mouth gets dry, and I struggle to find any
word to confront her about how I feel seeing her in front of me. Her innocence
of always being good to everyone was the same as mine. I have never cared who the
person is. If he/she asked for help, I was willing to provide, and so was she.
The biggest I have appreciated and respected in her is her ambition to
become someone on her own I know it seems a lot like a made-up thing, but it is
not. I have something of my own count it as my goal in my life. She had one,
and she shared it with me. I was amazed to see how determined she was toward
her goal. I was looking at my perfect, beautiful, and mature girlfriend, who
also happened to have childish behavior again, which I found really
cute. Now that you have a picture of her in your mind, let us move
forward. We used to have a fun meeting every once in a while and cared about each
other more than anything else. We were mad at each other, starting from being
jealous of each other to ruling above others just for the sake of other person's good and well-being. I was so lucky the whole time because I was her first guy.
Maybe I should have considered this when I lashed at her for the first time.
Now even thinking of it, I feel guilty. Back to the story, we had
our first kiss, and she was so excited and nervous. I felt her trust in me in that
kiss. I am really missing her while writing this. Okay, we kept meeting and had
chit chat hiding from everyone we knew. We used to chat, laugh and take good
care of each other. Now that day comes when I have to go far away from her for
a while and let me tell you something I have always feared long distances
because it never works for me. But I have now realized that I have never given
my 100 % to it to work in the first place. I am not the guy who had 10s and 20s
girlfriends before I realized that long distance does not work for me. It was
just one time, and I got hold of it. Let me come to the bad side of the story
now. It was nighttime, and we were chatting when I said, I do not like a girl who
lies to me. Maybe, I did not mean it that time, but anybody would be pissed
when someone tells them like that. She had all right to be angry with me, but
then I was angry too, and guess what? fire plus fire does not go away by itself, and
it grew bigger. The next thing I realized, she would not talk to me anymore. We started having a catfight now and then again and again, and then she stopped. I was
heartbroken and felt really bad for myself and her. I was the only man she
shared everything with, maybe even more than she told her family. And I messed it
up for her, maybe she hated me. We did not talk much after that. One
day out of nowhere, she called and wanted to meet. My heartbeat went through the sky
when I saw her name on my phone. I messed up again. But I got her the next day, and we met and
had an amazing time. I was so excited to get her back but totally forgot that
she would not be there forever, and that got me in the right place and that
hurt. Days went I was getting angry with her in small things cause I had this
in my mind that she was not going to be mine at the end of the day. One morning
she woke up and asked me a favor to delete our photos.
Maybe, she did not feel safe having them with me, but I expected her to trust
me. Because maybe I am the most sensual and angry person you will ever see, but
I am loyal. I respect other person life, decision, and loyalty. After reading
this, you might see my mistake of being rude to her. I was as well in our last
fight, and I will tell you I have said bad to her but believe me when I say
you. I love this girl like nothing else, and when I say I mean it. I respect
her, and I feel bad asking for a chance again and again. But I have learned
that a little more patience in a relationship would be worth a lot more than me
knowing everything she does. A little trust in her decision would give her more
faith in me than questioning why she went with that option in the first place.
A little less anger would get our relationship longer than I ever imagined. As
true as the quote I started with is, this is too. I love her, and if I get a
second chance to be with her, I will not miss it for the world.